later

hai...

later never seems to end...

i was walking with rain. i felt good that i passed though this group of students without feeling pressured. i didn't really wanted to attend the meeting. we turned in the corner to go to our usual spot during lunch, on eof the benches outside the teacher center a. i was concentrationg on my notes in physicas. i looked up, and something unusual grabbed my attention. *SHIT* i grasped for breath. it was ms. boots. she was at the other side of the hall, talking to some students.

we sat at the nearest, unoccupied bench. i still couldn't breathe. my heart was pounding hard. i tried to get back to my notes, but i just couldn't. i grabbed my other notebook, and my toast (which was placed on top of the notebook) spreaded some crumbs beside us. i let out a high-pitched sort of scream. i suprized myself. i'm not usually like that. it seemed like i was transforming to the way i was less than a year ago. i tried to control it, but i just couldn't. i thought i was over that crazy obsession, but now, i don't know if i am.

i could hear ms. boots' voice. she was asking chuchay if she saw me. my heart pounded faster. "ayan o" chuchay told her. i tried to cover my face with my notebook, as if it would make a difference. mica and gel arrived. even from a couple of meters away, i know they saw me running out of breath. mica told me that ms. boots was looking for me. i kept on wondering why.

ms. boots approached me, meaning, the four of us. i tried to cover my face, as if i was pretending that everything was a joke. "you, i was looking for you" she said, and i still don't know why. "later nlng" she changed her mind. after she left, i didn't mange to control myself, i did my usual crazy reaction. it's just unexplainable.

i joined my classmates. i attended the meeting. i kept on looking at the trellis area. i wanted to see her. around ten minutes later, we were going back to class. nothing happened. she didn't approach me, whatsoever. my heart was still pounding, but i managed to keep my sanity intacked.

later never came, i don't know if it ever will...
and i miss her... i do...